Circumstantial Evidence

by Jacob Haller

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    You'll also get copies of the cover art, high resolution pictures of the wire drawings the CW Roelle created for use on the CD case's front and back coves, and a text file with some notes by Jacob Haller about the various songs.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in an eco-pack with cover art by wire artist CW Roelle and, for no extra charge, I'll also send you a 3-song EP of cover songs recorded during the same recording sessions! Free domestic shipping for the month of December.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Circumstantial Evidence via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 6 Jacob Haller releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Dice to Meet You: Tales from the Goddess's Repose, Cabin Fever, Time To Break Up The Band, Covers EP, Circumstantial Evidence, and Mistaken Identity. , and , .

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1.
Dear Santa 01:52
I want a robot for Christmas, one a hundred meters high. One with flashing lights and dials. It could walk or swim or fly. It would put me on its shoulder so I'd never be alone. It would conquer all the planet with its horde of robot clones. It would rule benevolently, or so it would seem, but then It would see us, every one of us, to some evil aliens. I would lead the human rebellion 'gainst our metal overlord. My paradoxes would drive it crazy, cause its poor head to explode. I'd be a hero to all the humans, become president of the world. Statues would be erected to me, 'cause I'd been so smart and bold. That's why I want a robot for Christmas, one a hundred meters high. One with flashing lights and dials. It could walk or swim or fly.
2.
Just because I'm wobbly on my pins doesn't mean I've been drinking too much gin. It might be that I can't walk the line. It might be I smell of cheap wine. But it's all just circumstantial evidence. Who're you gonna trust, me or your senses? Just because there's powder on my nose doesn't give you the right to suppose. Maybe I had a powdered sugar doughnut Or something else, there's no way you can know what. 'Cause it's all just circumstantial evidence. Who're you gonna trust, me or your senses? Just because I smell a bit of smoke Doesn't mean I've had a little toke. Could be I passed a conflageration, So don't accuse me of intoxication. 'Cause it's all just circumstantial evidence. Who're you gonna trust, me or your senses?
3.
VERSE 1: It's been a day and a half since you left me And I've tried to make sense of it all I didn't know you were unhappy, I never saw we were headed for a fall When I enter the empty apartment you left, Well you know that it's lonely, my dear. And I open the fridge just to see what's still there To only find avocados and beer. VERSE 2: I know that I'm sometimes hard to get along with But I didn't know I was that bad And if I was insensitive, I'm sorry 'Cause you're the best thing I ever had I should have listened to all you were saying I understand why you had to leave here It was still quite a shock to come home home this evening To only find avocados and beer. CHORUS: Avocados and beer! All alone in the fridge, it's what's left of the life that we made Avocados and beer! I thought we'd never part, but now all of my dreams are betrayed Avocados and beer! I thought we were a great pair But you've left now, and now I'm aware We're not like beans and cornbread, I've afraid that instead We go together like avocados and beer VERSE 3: Now I know that I drink maybe more than I should My beer belly's gotten quite a few stares But I always tried to get you whatever you wanted That's why I bought those alligator pears And I thought that together we'd make it at last We'd conquer together our fears But all of my hopes have transformed into pain I've just got avocados and beer CHORUS: Avocados and beer! All alone in the fridge, it's what's left of the life that we made Avocados and beer! I thought we'd never part, but now all of my dreams are betrayed Avocados and beer! I thought we were a great pair But you've left now, and now I'm aware We're not like peas in a pod, we're like hotcakes and salt cod We're like caviar and kielbasa, or strychnine and waffles, We go together like avocados and beer
4.
I walked into a yarn store, happy as I could be I walked into a yarn store, happy as I could be Then the next thing you know, yarn store owner's shaking me Now they got me arrested, charge of mistreating yarn Now they got me arrested, charge of mistreating yarn Now maybe I touched some but I sure didn't mean no harm Now before you accuse me, take a look at yourself Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself Keeping all of this pretty yarn captive on that dusty shelf Yeah, the judge sentenced me, ten years in that Cranston pen Yeah, the judge sentenced me, ten years in that Cranston pen Would have been twenty-nine but that yarn was just Lion Brand
5.
I was going down to DC for the best day of my life. I was going to see my sweetheart & make that girl my wife. I waited at the station but the train did not arrive. Blame the train! That's why I'm always late. It's not me! I do not procrastinate. These excuses have got to seem quite lame. But I'm telling you, it's not my fault. Please, darlin', blame the train. I went to drive back home to call my loving lass. I sped towards the railway crossing when I heard a whistle blast. I had to sit & wait as a hundred railcars rumbled past. Blame the train! It's why I never call. It's not me! I'm always on the ball. These excuses have got to seem quite lame. But I'm telling you, it's not my fault. Please, darlin', blame the train. This song seems headed for tragedy, but in fact it's not that way. I took the next plane South and I wed her that same day, and now here's what I tell her every morning, every day: Blame the train! It's the reason that I snore. It's not me! who forgot to wash the floor. These excuses may seem a bit insane. But I'm telling you, it's not my fault. Please, darlin', blame the train.
6.
You know I used to have a dog, I loved to have that dog around, But now that she is gone, I'm not gonna rush off to no pound. It's great to have a dog, that's what all dog-owners say, But I like having some freedom -- you know that leash, it goes both ways. I want me a part time dog, won't keep me up late every night Some companionship here and there, once in a while she'll treat me right My part-time dog & I will cross paths every once in a little while. I'll give her treats and rub her tummy, love to see that doggy smile. My part-time dog'll be well-cared for, it just won't be by only me. Sharing dogs is very modern, so don't you cluck your tongue at me. I want me a part-time dog, one who's sweet as she can be One who'll always be happy to always stay part-time with me. You know I ain't no SOB who'd turn a hungry dog from his door. I'd treat her well while she is mine, miss her when she goes next door. It'll be sad to see her go, watch her go so far away But trust me, man, it'd be sadder still if she'd stick around every day I want me a part-time dog, I guess I've told you the reasons why Now all I need's to find a puppy who's looking for a part-time guy.
7.
Just You 03:03
You make me feel just like the luckiest guy alive. I've never felt this way before, or at most just once or twice. You're a wonderful person, you've got right under my skin. That's why it's true, I love only you And you And you. I'm just like an apple hanging from a tree I feel so nice, it's paradise, and you're my little Eve. The way I feel about you, it's got to be an original sin. You know it's true, I love only you Just you And you. You know that I love you Quite exclusively So please be mine for the rest of time and forget about the girls who love only me I'm just like Romeo to your Juliet We're in Act II, our love is true, and we ain't dead quite yet. Ever since I met you, you put me in a spin. That's why it's true, I'm in love with you. If you don't love me then I'll be so blue - Won't you make me coo and just say, "I do"? 'Cause you know it's true, I'm in love with you, Just you And you.
8.
Codependent 02:59
My life has changed since we parted. I've been sleeping eight hours a night. and I must confess I drink a lot less, I'm not always looking for a fight. If you'd asked me, I'd never have guessed this would be The way I'd be living today. Won't you come back and rescue me? I just can't go on living this way ... BRIDGE: Now, some folks might call us codependent And say our reuniting's insane; But things ain't the same without you, my dear -- Please come back and make me miserable again. Yesterday I saw you in town, looking happier than I've seen you in years And suddenly I missed those old time feelings: Anger, betrayal, and fear. BRIDGE: I want us to be more than lovers And I want us to be less than friends Won't you look into your heart and come back, dear? We can drive each other crazy again. Won't you break my heart and come back dear? We can be codependent again.
9.
After the show, I had packed up my guitar You caught my eye, you were standing at the bar You flashed me a knowing grin, Looking so good, it was half a sin. I felt myself start to fall in lust My brain began to whirl I thought it might combust. CHORUS: And I woke up The taste of stale tequila in my mouth. I looked around, I was all alone. How could you do it You were so beautiful. A few more drinks, and a half a pack of smokes. We talked for hours, you laughed at all my jokes. Then we went back to your hotel And did some things I shouldn't tell. And I felt myself start to fall asleep. You made me feel so safe That it almost made me weep. [CHORUS] Then I awoke in a bathtub full of ice You left a note, I had to read it twice It said "call 911. I stole your kidney. Thanks for the fun." And I felt myself start to fall apart. I know you took my kidney but you also stole my heart. [CHORUS]
10.
Soft Spot 02:34
I can't tell where I begin and you end. Can't distinguish between me and you. To my earthly needs you always tend. Now hold me. You know that it's true: I've got a soft spot on my head for you. I've got a soft spot on my head for you. When you leave I feel like you're gone for good, And all that I can do is cry. Without you I could barely lift my head. Now hold me, I'll tell you why: I've got a soft spot on my head for you. I've got a soft spot on my head for you. I have no words to say how I feel. When you're near I am weak in the knees. With you, I can take this world's ordeal. Never leave me, mama, please ... Never leave me, mama, please ... You're always there when I need a change. You're there when I wake in the night. I know that whatever the day will bring, You'll make everything all right. I've got a soft spot on my head for you. I've got a soft spot on my head for you.
11.
Anne Hutchinson was a mighty woman. She was the daughter of Francis Marbury. She was put on trial in 1637 for preaching in the Boston colony, lord, lord. For preaching in that Boston colony. The governor said to Anne Hutchinson "You've broken the Biblical law. A woman's place is honoring her husband, not speaking out in church at all." "Well let me read to you from the Bible," Anne said to that governor, "It says that my duty, as an older woman, is to teach to those that are younger." Anne said, "What law have I broken? Just tell me, and I'll see if it's true." The governor shouted, "Now hold on, sister, 'Cause we're the judges here, not you." They argued for days into evenings. The governor was losing his cool. Despite all his learning, this self-taught midwife was making him look like a fool. Now Anne said, "You know that I'm not worried, 'Cause God said you can't hurt me." The judge laughed out loud and the court retired To convict her of heresy. Some might say the moral of the story is the danger of too much pride. I say it shows it's hard to break that glass ceiling, even with God on your side. Anne Hutchinson was a mighty woman. She was the daughter of Francis Marbury. She was put on trial in 1637 for preaching in the Boston colony.
12.
All Alone 03:18
I had a hell of a time the other night. My friends and I went out. We drank, and ate, and partied it up; Everybody starts to dance and shout. And we joked, and we laughed, and I bought another round Then I bought another round again; Man, I don't think I've had a better time -- I thought it would never end. Now I'm all alone. I'm all alone. After I've wined and dined, well, it's time to unwind 'Cause I'm all alone. I had some folks over this last weekend. It was a hell of an affair. There was dancing, and singing, and five-card stud; Everyone I knew was there. Now this party, it started at half past nine, And at six it's still going strong; If you asked me I'd've said it would never end, But I guess I'd've been quite wrong. Now I'm all alone. I'm all alone. Now that things are calm Maybe I'll call my mom, 'Cause I'm all alone I was out with a lady the other night And I thought it was going quite well. I'd dressed to the nines and ordered the wine I was feeling awful swell. We were having fun at the end of the night, And so I went in for a kiss. She looked so great and it seemed to me There was no way that I could miss. I'm all alone. I'm all alone. It's been a night of thrills. Time to pay my bills, 'Cause I'm all alone. 'Cause I'm all alone. I'm all alone. Guess I'll get out the broom 'Cause there's dust in the room And I'm all alone. It's the end of the day, I'll check my email, 'Cause I'm all alone.
13.
I went out last night, and I stayed out pretty late. Now I feel relatively human, and that is relatively great. I had gin for dinner, vodka for dessert. Now I'm thinking whiskey for breakfast, I don't see how it could hurt. I woke up in a strange place, guess that's where I went to bed, But I'm feeling pretty good now, considering I probably should be dead. Give me a cup of coffee, then pour me another five, 'Cause I'm feeling relatively human, but only 40% alive.

about

Jacob Haller's second release, 'Circumstantial Evidence', features thirteen examples of his inimitably skewed perspective, this time assisted by a bunch of great Rhode Island musicians: Joe Auger, Natalie Markward, Pamela Murray, Chris Monti, Jack Hanlon, Jeff Keithline, and Daniel Schleifer.

credits

released November 11, 2011

This album was recorded and mixed at Machines with Magnets by Keith Souza and Seth Manchester and mastered at Sound Mirror by Mark Donahue.
Album art is by CW Roelle and photography by Pamela Murray.
Wolfcub Records logo by Serena Andrews.

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Jacob Haller Providence, Rhode Island

Jacob Haller has been a fixture of the Rhode Island music scene for ten years, and has been frequently featured in popular shows such as AS220's Empire Revue and Common Fence Point Music's annual Gathering of Fiddlers & Fishermen.

"Jacob Haller is not only a talented musician and songwriter, he's also a talented songwriter and musician."

-- Harper Johnson, Co-Host of The Blues Record podcast
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